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How to Win Your Ex Back

Winning back your ex can seem like an impossible task. But by taking the right steps, you can give your relationship a second chance. To get your ex to return your feelings and rekindle what you had, try these tips:

1. Consider the Reasons You Broke Up

Take some time to reflect on why you ended things in the first place. Ask yourself if you’re willing to forgive, and if the same issues could arise in the future. Do both of you need to mature before you rekindle your relationship? If you both felt unfulfilled in the relationship, do you think it’s possible you can make it work this time?

2. Talk to Your Ex

Once you’ve thought through the reasons for your breakup, reach out to your ex. Schedule a call or meet in person so you can discuss things. Tell them you’re sorry for whatever went wrong and that you’d love to talk. Listen to understand their side of the story and open up about how you feel. Try to avoid blaming them or bringing up fights from the past.

3. Show You Care

Show your ex you’re ready to make changes by listening to them and doing activities that make them feel like the most important person in your life. Demonstrate your commitment by offering to make changes, going to therapy, and/or getting help in areas you know you struggled with. Make sure to be polite, sincere, and kind — it’ll go a long way in helping regain your ex’s trust.

4. Demonstrate Patience and Selflessness

Take your time. Don’t rush the process — you don’t want to seem desperate. Allow your ex to process their feelings, getting them to rebuild trust and appreciation for you and the relationship. Show selflessness by asking your ex how you can help and make them feel loved. Refer to the new relationship guidelines you’ve both created to ensure your success.

5. Spend Time Together

Once you’ve had your talk, invite your ex out for a good time. Focus on having a good, fun, and enjoyable time together so you can strengthen your bond. Don't dive into heavy discussions about the relationship yet — just make sure to show your ex how happy and loved they make you feel. Follow up with a nice text later on to remind them you were thinking of them.

6. Move Forward Together

Now it’s time to make a commitment. Ask your ex to take the next step with you — let them know your feelings and ask them to give the relationship another chance. Make sure to be honest and openly communicate any fears or doubts you have. Listen to their concerns and once both of you are on the same page, you can move forward in your relationship.

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