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Using the No Contact Rule to Get Your Ex Back
Couples breakup for a variety of reasons, but the pain and heartbreak of being suddenly estranged from an ex can be one of life’s toughest obstacles. If you’re hoping to reconcile with your ex, the no contact rule is a powerful tool. This rule insists that you take a breather and distance yourself from your ex for a period of time. During that time, you can work on improving your emotional wellbeing, gaining insight into what went wrong, and becoming stronger and a healthier version of yourself.
The amount of time you should abstain varies depending on your situation. Generally, a minimum of one month is recommended, but you may need to go several months or longer. With the no contact rule, the goal is to come back to your ex with a renewed sense of self-love and self-sufficiency, so you should take as much time as you need.
Steps for Abiding by the No Contact Rule
- Cut off all contact. Don't call, text, message, or check in with your ex in any way. Unfriend them on social media.
- Fill up your time with activities. Find family and friends that have your back and throw yourself into new hobbies and interests.
- Focus on self-improvement. Take the time to take care of yourself. You can start an exercise routine, eat healthier, or explore new hobbies.
- Don't try to get your ex's attention. Going out of your way to spark jealousy will only strain the situation. Respect their space.
- Keep an open mind. Don't close yourself off from potential connections. Becoming too attached to the idea of getting your ex back can cloud your judgment.
- When you've completed the no contact rule, reach out diplomatically. If you get in touch, be respectful and explain why you want to reconnect. Focus on the present and make it clear that you want to start over.
No contact works best when it has a clear goal and an end date. If you’re clever, you can use the no contact rule to gain insight into why the relationship ended and how you can improve. It's possible to heal from a breakup and come back to it better than ever. With persistence and dedication, you have a chance of getting your ex back for something better the second time around.