Living with a roommate is never easy, but when that roommate has a significant other and their presence becomes a constant in the home, it can be an even more challenging situation. While it’s natural for people to want to be with the one they love, it can become overwhelming without some boundaries in place. There are a few steps you can take to make the situation a little more livable.
Start by holding an open conversation with your roommate. Explain calmly and clearly how you feel about their boyfriend's presence, and how it might be impacting your living experience. Let them know your expectations and suggest a few potential solutions for the both of you to consider. This way, an understanding and compromise can be formed.
You might also consider setting healthy boundaries with your roommate about their partner's presence. Try to focus on specific times and days that they are welcome, and a designated place where they should hang out. Similarly, you can ask for boundaries to be set on the amount of time they spend over, and agree on days where they don't come over. Setting expectations early on will ensure that if the boundaries are broken, your roommate has violated a mutually-agreed-upon plan.
Finally, it is important to create time and space apart from your roommate and their boyfriend. Whether it's a night "off" or a weekend away with friends, carving out moments away from them can provide clarity and stability to your living space. Taking regular breaks will allow you to distance yourself from the situation while building good will between you and your roommate.
Having a roommate with a significant other can be a difficult situation, but with the right communication and boundaries in place, it doesn’t have to be. Stay respectful, direct, and honest, and be sure to make spending time apart a priority. With the right approach, you and your roommate will be able to find an understanding that is comfortable for each of you.